It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced - or seemed to face - the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just so far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.
One can never understand, in the light of day, the depths of the gloom of night.
Perhaps all romance is like that; not a contract between equal parties but an explosion of dreams and desires that can find no outlet in everyday life. Only a drama will do and while the fireworks last the sky is a different colour.
Jeanette Winterson (via
wrists)
Mi guardo bene dal tenermi in gola le parole: ho passato gran parte della mia vita a non dire le cose che volevo dire, e me ne sono pentito. La nostra natura ci impone di mandare messaggi subliminali, comunicare con i gesti, perchè abbiamo paura di esporci per come siamo. Anche a noi stessi. Quando tutto sarà finito sono sicuro che mi verrà concesso un minuto per ripensare a tutte le volte che volevo urlare cosa sentivo, ma sono stato zitto per paura di non essere capito, e rimpiangerò gli obbiettivi che ho abbandonato perchè il timore di fallire mi ha impedito di perseguirli.
Dis lui que je t’aime, mais non, ne prononce pas un tel blasphème, dis lui que je t’adore, que la vie n’a commencé pour moi que le jour où je t’ai vu, que dans les moments les plus fous de ma jeunesse, je n’avais jamais même rêvé le bonheur que je te dois ; que je t’ai sacrifié ma vie, que je te sacrifie mon âme. Tu sais que je te sacrifie bien plus.
Le geste tendre dit : demande-moi quoi que ce soit qui puisse endormir ton corps, mais aussi n’oublie pas que je te désire un peu, légèrement, sans vouloir rien saisir tout de suite.
It’s when I’m standing six feet away from you and not being able to find the words to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you that I want to just scream to the whole room that I’m still in love with you. It’s when I’m sitting alone with the phone in my hand dialing your number and hanging up that I would trade a thousand tomorrows for just one yesterday. Then I could just call you to tell you goodnight. It’s when I am really sad about something and need someone to talk to that I realize you’re the only one who really knew me at all. It’s when I cry myself to sleep at night and it hits me how much I would give to hold you at that very moment. It’s when I think about you that I realize no one else in the world is meant for me.
Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question in life is whether to kill yourself or not. Tom Robbins wrote that the only serious question is whether time has a beginning and an end. Camus clearly got up on the wrong side of bed, and Robbins must have forgotten to set the alarm. There is only one serious question. And that is: Who knows how to make love stay? Answer me that and I will tell you whether or not to kill yourself. Answer me that and I will ease your mind about the beginning and end of time. Answer me that and I will reveal to you the purpose of the moon.
I don’t find our relative insignificance disheartening at all: The main thing it tells me is that in a culture that worships celebrity and the purportedly extraordinary, ALL people are ordinary people. ALL people have the same responsibilities to themselves and to each other. Maybe the universe cares nothing for us, but WE care about each other. And most encouragingly, we care not just for our friends or family but for the whole enterprise of life—we care about strangers and about humpback whales and, most beautifully of all, we care about the dead. We try with our lives to honor theirs. That’s how we make our lives meaningful, and how we make their lives meaningful, too.
I wish I were a poet. I’ve never confessed that to anyone, and I’m confessing it to you, because you’ve given me reason to feel that I can trust you. I’ve spent my life observing the universe, mostly in my mind’s eye. It’s been a tremendously rewarding life, a wonderful life. I’ve been able to explore the origins of time and space with some of the great living thinkers. But I wish I were a poet. Albert Einstein, a hero of mine, once wrote, “Our situation is the following. We are standing in front of a closed box which we cannot open.” I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that the vast majority of the universe is composed of dark matter. The fragile balance depends on things we’ll never be able to see, hear, smell, taste, or touch. Life itself depends on them. What’s real? What isn’t real? Maybe those aren’t the right questions to be asking. What does life depend on? I wish I had made things for life to depend on.
